This is dumb but this is what the hotline people say I should do; I am supposed to blog about my smoking and weightloss that it will help me put things in to perspective. How ridiculous! How is telling a bunch of strangers on the internet about why I cant quit smoking or eating going to help me quit smoking or eating? As a matter of fact im sitting here on my porch right now smoking a cigarette:) ugh i just used a smiley face to end a sentence but that is a complete change of subject i will contemplate later. I do really want to quit I do! but heres the thing I actually like doing both they make me happy, or atleast provide a false sense of happiness and really whats the difference. So here I go off to work to get in my car smoke some more on the way to work, declare at work im never touching another cigarette again, then sneak out for a smoke break. Seriously! Really!